Already lying about her age

March 22, 2013 

I suppose both men and women do it all the time.

I’ve even been guilty of lying about my age.

I often tell people I am in my 30s. And that’s not true at all. I’m in my early 30s.

OK, well, tall tales aside, I’ve noticed my daughter has taken to blatantly lying about her age lately.

Maybe it’s because of the amount of time I put her in the spotlight with the direct question, usually in front of a person she doesn’t know.

“Addy, how old are you?”

“Three!” she’ll exclaim, holding up the requisite amount of fingers.

“Well, sweetie, you’re actually 2-and-a-half, right?”

At this point she will pause, giggle, and try the fib again.

“Three,” she will say, pointedly.

At this point, if she hasn’t already broken away, darted off or done something else that is distractingly cute, she’s lost interest in the whole conversation.

Of course, the sham is already on. She’s adding at least six months to her age.

I am in no hurry for Adaline to grow up, believe me. I already cannot believe she is anywhere near 3 years old.

And while the 2s haven’t been as terrible as the stories I have heard, certainly her embellishment of her age hasn’t been her most devious acts.

A recent grocery store meltdown would have made the whole “3” conversation much cuter. Instead, the lack of an available cookie in the bakery led to pure bedlam.

It was late in the afternoon on a Sunday and I knew I was taking a gamble even discussing said cookie with Addy. But (and this is my fault, clearly) she associates HyVee and free cookie every time now. I cannot avoid it.

Naturally, I ended up buying a dozen of those frosted sugar cookies so I could give her one in the car. Yes, I’m a pushover.

Once she shook off that episode, she got the oft-asked age question somewhere between the dairy section and meat counter.

“Ahhhhh, how old are you, sweetie?” the nice lady asked as she passed by Addy and I.

“Dadda won’t let me have a cookie,” she replied.

I can see now the next best thing to lying about her age is going to blaming me for withholding the prized grocery store cookies.

The customer simply smiled and said, “Oh, I see…”

Perhaps I need to shop on my own for a while.

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