Chuck-It

April 4, 2014 

Bill Filer

A South Carolina man was arrested recently for assaulting his girlfriend with a book, an anger management book. Yes, that really happened.

A young man in Florida is all over the news for a very public road rage incident. He now has a wrecked truck and an arrest record all because the lady in the passing lane, already exceeding the posted speed limit, wasn’t exceeding the speed limit enough.

Facebook, Twitter, the blogosphere, coffee shops, the office, and sadly, our homes, are full of angry, angry people who don’t think twice about blowing up at the slightest provocation. There is no sense of scale anymore. Little Johnny not getting enough playing time, go beat up the coach. Ask for your burger plain, but get onions, drive your car through the restaurant plate glass window. Your boss gave you a bad review, set her car on fire. We have lost our collective cool, and we need to settle down, America.

Ever the public servant, I have a fool proof method for controlling and redirecting anger. It is super simple to remember, and even easier to implement. When confronted with a challenging situation, when you feel your self control slipping, and your desire to end up on an episode of Cops increasing, think of two words: Chuck-It.

There is not a known situation in the world that cannot be solved with the Chuck-It method. When you begin to get angry, filter the situation through three famous Chucks: Chuck Yeager, Chuck Woolery, and Chuck Norris. Ask yourself what would these Chucks do in your situation.

Chuck Yeager was the first confirmed pilot to travel faster than the speed of sound, and he did it in an experimental aircraft. Experimental aircraft is military speak for, "Hope your life insurance is paid up." General Yeager faced impossible odds, almost incomprehensible dangers, yet never failed to find a way to rise above it all.

When your feeling stretched too tight and getting red in the face with anger, think about facelifts and tanning beds, or think about Chuck Woolery. Chuck Woolery may get all up in your business, but before the show is over, you can bet he’s going to find a love connection, and he’s going to look good doing it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the poop out of it instead. When rising above it doesn’t work, when there is no love connection to be found, be tough and simply give that situation a round house kick to the stomach and walk away.

Your co-worker is absent again, leaving you no choice but to work overtime. Chuck Yeager would fly high on the simple gratefulness of having a job.

You could rear-end the jerk who accelerated to the end of the on ramp before merging, while almost causing a half million dollars in auto claims to everyone around him, or you could invoke your inner Chuck Woolery. You see a, "Hungry? Eat Your Import" bumper sticker on his Chevy. That fact makes you realize your old man would have instantly liked this guy, he can’t be all bad. Love connection made.

Your accountant called and asked if you’re sitting down, and you’re now tempted to tell Uncle Sam where he can go. Remember, be like Chuck Norris, so tough he can make his own blood bleed. You have survived worse, you’ll survive this.

In the words of our great American philosopher, Rodney King, "can’t we all get along?"

We can, and we will, as long as we remember to just Chuck-It.

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