Conventional methods have failed. Sprays, pellets, powders, and my incessant cursing have done nothing to make this year’s weed problem go away. I wrote a letter to my Representative in D.C. asking her to sponsor a bill that would immediately classify weeds, in particular dandelions, henbit, and crabgrass, as a threat to national security, placing them on a terrorist most wanted list. I have yet to hear back. Surely, she must understand what a serious threat this has become. Unsightly yards are one of the most un-American things I can think of, ranking just behind hatred of country, hatred of democracy, hatred of capitalism, hatred of over eating, hatred of reality television, and hatred of any person or organization advocating that we stop hating. Updated: May. 16, 2013 1:30 PM | Full Story